Putting in his 50 Cents

Rapper 50 Cent switches his support from Clinton to Obama, adding “I normally don’t even follow American Idol, but it’s too important this year.”

I See Dead Premises

The new horror film “Shutter”, starring Rachael Taylor and Joshua Jackson, opens in theatres this weekend. Producers are glad they didn’t go with the original title, “Pretty American Blonde Woman vs. Japanese Killer Ghost VII”.

Buggery Stats

A new study has found that one in five Canadian boys experience sexual abuse. However, a follow-up questionnaire finds that the number drops significantly when it's explained that "self-abuse" doesn't count.

Florida Lawmakers Impose Belt Technology on Youths

Florida passes a law against wearing droopy pants in highschools. The legislation also includes clauses to make young people "stop slouching", "listen to real music", "and get a job cutting grass like I did when I was your age".

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Thank you for checking out The Daily Indigestion! There are only a couple of things to know: The headlines might not always be up to date, they might not always be 100% factual, but they are always based on real news or events. The rest is self explanatory - unless you are medically incapable of understanding the difference between humor and fact, in which case you must live in a bizarre and often confusing existence and someone should make a movie about you. I see Philip Seymour Hoffman in the lead. How do you feel about the title “Tears of a Clown”? Well I’m not married to it. Have your people call my people.