Jumbo Jet Setters Seethe

Overweight activists are protesting a decision by several airlines to force passengers who are so obese that they take up two seats, to pay for a second fare. Said airline representative Jeremy Portsnap “Oh the fatties are protesting huh? What are they going to do? Go on a hunger strike? Zing! But seriously, I’ll tell you what: I’ll reverse the decision - but only if one of the protesters can catch me first. Oh, I’m terrible! What is an overweight activist anyway? A lard-ass who wanted any excuse to be able to use the word ‘active’ and their own name in the same sentence? Too much, too much! But these guys can really throw their weight around when they want to. Groan! Seriously though, did you know you can’t call it the Goodyear Blimp anymore? Nope, because of these jelly-rolls you have to call it the ‘Goodyear Airship of Substantial but Acceptable Proportions’. Ha! I kid of course. I do have sympathy for these folks though; my own aunt was a giant blubbery whale. She passed away recently but we haven’t buried her yet. They started digging the grave a month ago and it’s still not big enough! Zowee! I’ve got a million of ’em!”
Mr. Portsnap was later fired.