Of Balls And Bailouts

AIG has raised the ire of the federal government and the American people after disclosing that it plans to use 165 million dollars of public bailout money to pay for the bonuses of the very Executives who nearly bankrupted the once prosperous insurance giant. AIG defended the decision, citing their new company slogan “Bonuses - Completely Unrelated to Performance Since 2009”.

AIG has raised the ire of the federal government and the American people after disclosing that it plans to use 165 million dollars of public bailout money to pay for the bonuses of the very Executives who nearly bankrupted the once prosperous insurance giant. Said the mother of one of the Executives “I don’t understand how my son could have grown up to be so audacious. One time, when he was a child, he broke a neighbours window while playing baseball, so I did the responsible thing and paid for the window myself then raised his allowance... Oh wait, I see the problem now.”